Hawa

Hawa has covered her face for filming in order to protect her identity. Hawa is not her real name.

[Hawa is sitting in front of a window overlooking a busy road. Her face is covered to protect her identity but we can clearly see her eyes.]

2003, 2004, I heard some attack near to my village. During that time, day after day, we heard some killed in the some village. And sometimes we see some plane… We heard some noises from the Antonov and gun like that. We hear it. And all the time we scaring from that… yeah.

My cousins heard some shooting. When they go out to know what happened in their village, some people is shooting them. And… they was… die at that time. [Weeping.] And they didn’t know who has killed them. Until now.

When the people arrive from that village attack and er, come to my village, they left all their thing in village and the Janjaweed took it. The people arrived tired and scaring and crying and it’s a difficult situation. I can’t told you.

And I running out in a hurry with my family to camp near to El Fasher. I want to live, and I want to save myself. Unfortunately I… I…I… lost everything. But I want to save myself, and when I went to camp it’s quite better than when I – when I was in my village.

Also in camp sometimes we hear shooting. And sometimes we afraid to go out because I can find somebody can kill me or can killed my friend or like that, and, it’s very difficult. We need to cook, we need everything. We need to eat, and we try everything.

When we arrive the camp, I had some idea about nutrition and I work with some organisation. I worked with them like social worker, like health visitor. I sit with some mothers. That mothers have children in our nutrition centre, and every woman was talking about the Janjaweed, about her life during the attack and all the problem she had in the past.

Every woman, when she talk, she crying, she remember everything. It’s very difficult. And I remember one mother, when she sit and talking, she told us about running out from the shooting, and she had her baby on her back, and she want to bring her child from her back, she find the child was died. All the time, she talking about her babies.

There’s a lot of rape. But if you want to talk about that, you feel it’s afraid, because, you know, the Government is in control of all the people. If there any rape is, you can’t talk about it because you’re afraid to, to, to killed.

Until now I am here, but I feel is there. And I feel with them in Darfur. Because my family, all my family, is there. And I don’t want a lot of problem in my village or in my, in Darfur. I don’t want war and I don’t want shooting and I don’t want to hear everything like that. But I feel now is worried about my family. Because until now there is a lot of problem in Darfur, you know.