Holocaust survivor Eve Kugler meets poet Sarah Hesketh
Our Memory Makers project paired Holocaust and genocide survivors with nine British artists, who responded to their stories with works of art for Holocaust Memorial Day 2015. Holocaust survivor Eve Kugler met poet Sarah Hesketh.
Poet Sarah Hesketh met Holocaust survivor Eve Kugler over tea in north London. Eve survived the Holocaust as a child, escaping Nazi persecution by fleeing France for America. The pair discussed Eve’s heartache at missing her family as she was displaced across the Atlantic, the significance of memory, the creative process, and whether art can capture human experience for future generations.
This is Sarah’s poetic response to Eve’s story.
1.
boots brown boots brown boots brown boots
this is how history advances
you now you now you now you
scarring the earth with its straight lines
carting a lusty song of rubble
impossible to say if this
is where the shatter started
if here in the swoop of a uniformed arm
you begin to come undone
such an exquisite child
such perfect Aryan features
a child of the fatherland, dear lady
you are to be congratulated
2.
this night is sung
a vile opera of glass
your sister cracking
her fingers in the dark
as your father is led away
wherefore is this night different
from all other nights?
plug your memory as you
might plug your ears
the black notes will still
press in
3.
years made of the white
squawk of paperwork
names fade to spaces as
the lists get longer and
unlit men in office chairs
commit a genocide
of envelopes and ink
this will take you to family
this to a town of mountains
and rain
it is enough to hear
your mother keep muttering
next year, in Jerusalem
4.
to survive is just a matter
of being somebody else
live now, consent to forget
the way you must give thanks
for sickness
how you win at life
as other children rot
you suffer the breach
expect no forgiveness
make each one you leave behind
record their name in your autograph book
5.
in Lisbon, a bitter ring
of sunshine sours your belly
the pineapple’s yellow sin
is all you can remember
years later, Aaron will
describe its flavour
and the bright taste suddenly
is yours to carry again
6.
the new world is a pier
flashbulbs on the innocents
and everyone here
has a silky accent on war
you want to rewrite the label
round your neck:
the number 24 is too small
the word you don’t know how to spell
is murderers
7.
Hebrew Orphans Asylum
all children are good at hiding
buttons smuggled like a pirate hoard
a glove that still holds
mother’s fingers in its grasp
your sister remembers everything
her treasure is a handkerchief
tied into a knot
you press between the pages
of your copy book
yellow and purple pansies
buttercups
two rare and lucky
four leaf clovers
8.
home begins again then again
you get lost in the wide beds
of others, you learn what it is
to walk a dog down the street
and the last thing to be forgotten
is the shape of home in your mouth
you swallow its din
those metal edges
so that when the letter
finally comes
the words of reunion
are broken runes
and the only thing
your father wants
is never to see Ger-man-ee again
9.
sunny day
take a look over your shoulder
your shadow self
still isn’t there
here’s where she might be hiding:
in a tape spooling slowly from Ruth’s shy mouth
on papers the eagle’s claw grapples to the ground
and then your mother
lifts her eyes from the table
stops counting as if
her life depended on it
10.
there was luck, but there were also
choices
my pain no stronger
or smaller than yours
aleinu, it is our duty to illuminate
even now in this
ordinary dark
When Sarah met Eve
Sarah remembers that ‘When I first met Eve and heard her story, I was overwhelmed by just how much had happened to her and her family. Although Eve can remember nearly nothing of her childhood, there were so many striking details in what she had to say to me. There was so much for me to write about, at first I couldn’t see how I could possibly tell such a complex family story in just a single poem. The topic of the Holocaust too, is so large; it is terrifying for a writer or artist to be faced with contracting such a major event into a single piece of art.’
‘Whilst Eve’s story is incredibly interesting as a narrative, what struck me most of all was her own battle with forgetting and remembrance. As a victim of traumatic memory loss, she has had to suffer a double tragedy, surviving both the horrors of Nazi Germany, and the subsequent undoing of her own identity.’
‘In recovering her own story through the memories of her sister and her mother, as well as other child survivors and documentary evidence, certain images and incidents seem to have become touchstones for Eve: the time a Nazi soldier scooped her up and threw her into the air as a young child; the bad stomach she suffered whilst in transit to America; the small numbered tag she was wearing when she arrived in New York. I decided to structure my poem around these small ‘flares’ of memory. By writing a sequence of short poems, I felt that I could attempt to mirror Eve’s own experience of fragmented rediscovery. ‘
Sarah Hesketh is a London-based poet. Her work has appeared in a number of magazines and anthologies including The White Review, Soundings, Catechism: Poems for Pussy Riot and Binders Full of Women. In 2013-14 she was a poet in residence with Age Concern Central Lancashire – which she found to be an amazing experience that has strengthened an ongoing interest in working with older people. The Hard Word Box, a collection of poems and texts inspired by her time with Age Concern, will be published in December 2014.
Sarah enjoys using poetry to uncover and explore untold stories. She wanted to hear the remarkable personal stories of Holocaust survivors, to help bring new audiences to this most important of topics.